The press has inundated Alaska with reporters and will have shortly interviewed every single person belonging to the 20% that do not rate Sarah Palin highly. Many of the reporters have flocked to the state capital of Juneau. Yes, Alaska has a state capital and it is Juneau.

Shocking, well, shocked reports are hitting the press about the inner workings of the Alaskan state government. No one should be shocked, however, since it is obvious that the Alaskan government operates pretty much like every other state government in the nation. Spend some time learning about your state government if you do not believe me.

The problem with state governments is called “Washington Syndrome“. It is highly contagious, infecting 90% or more of those exposed. It can also be genetically inherited.

The symptoms of “Washington Syndrome” are as follows:

• At the time the city was designated the capital, it made geographic or commercial sense. The location has not made sense, however, for a long time.
• The major industry of the capital city is government. The people of the metro area either work for the government or for businesses that support governmental operations like bars, law firms or caterers.
• The government of the city where the capital is located is treated as the red-headed stepchild. It is assumed that the sole purpose of the city government is to support the functions of the capital.
• Many of those who work in the capital maintain personal residences in other places. They have developed mechanisms that compensate them for traveling to and from their legal residences.
• Many of those who work in the capital maintain residences in and around the capital city’s metro area. They have developed mechanisms that compensate them for living away from their legal residences. Many of these same people spend more time in the capital than they do at their legal residences.
• Activities and beliefs that are normal, popular, seen as virtuous and desirable outside the capital are seen as abnormal, repulsive and criminal in the capital.
• Activities and beliefs that are abnormal, criminal, repulsive and unpopular outside the capital are seen as normal, virtuous and desirable in the capital.
• Those who work in the capital are willing to gossip, spread rumor and innuendo, and lie regardless of who they support. The capital functions on the ability to betray or avoid betrayal.
• The capital’s city is often charming in its own right but tourism is focused on the capital itself.
• The capital is the center of the universe and anything that happens outside the capital is viewed solely as to its effects on the capital.

There are many more symptoms than can be listed here. Diagnosis is easy since self-importance and delusions of grandeur are often so pronounced that the ordinary voter can distinguish them. The condition weakens in some cases after exposure to the capital ceases but other cases remain quite active for decades after.

Capt. Lyndsey Goodman performs to the military and Alaskan crowd at the Alaska’s Operation Gratitude concert June 27 at Elmendorf Air Force Base, Alaska. The concert was a part of Alaska’s 50 years of statehood celebration. Captain Goodman is with the 317th Airlift Squadron and was a contestant on American Idol. (U.S. Air Force photo/Senior Airman Jonathan Steffen)

From January 2008-
C-17 pilot auditions for ‘American Idol’

A C-17 Globemaster III pilot with the 317th Airlift Squadron at Charleston Air Force Base recently lived out one of her dreams — to audition for “American Idol.”

Capt. Lyndsey Goodman, a Reserve pilot who has flown the half-million pound airlifter into combat zones in Iraq and Afghanistan, also sings at local nightclubs.

“I wanted to try out for ‘American Idol’ because I have been singing since I was a little girl, but I have been flying most of my adult life so I never really had the opportunity to go out and audition for something like this,” Captain Goodman said. “When I found out they were coming to Charleston, I thought I should give it a shot.”

The captain already has a career handling America’s premier airlifter, but her passion for singing gave her the chance to sing for America’s toughest, and most popular judges — Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell.

“Auditioning in front of Randy, Paula and Simon, I was probably more nervous than I have been in my entire life,” the captain said. “It was really hard to concentrate because of all the cameras. It was a lot tougher than any check ride I have ever had.”

Captain Goodman is one of only two military contestants featured on the show this season, according to “American Idol” producers. After the audition process, she was eliminated by Mr. Cowell, who said he liked her singing but jazz might not be the right format for the show.

“Not making it to L.A. was a little disappointing, but I will still be flying with the Air Force Reserve,” Captain Goodman said.

by Capt. Wayne Capps
315th Airlift Wing Public Affairs