Once again, headlines that “could” happen:

• Rosie Dumps Kellie for Oprah
• Matt Drudge Revealed to Be Karl Rove
• Novak’s Plame Source Found to Be Bill Clinton
• Chelsea Clinton and Bush Twins Film Presidential Chicks Gone Wild on Spring Break
• Janet Jackson Admits Borg Implant; Vows to Assimilate America
• Paris Hilton Found to Be Too Dumb to Be Allowed Out; Must Wear Leash At All Times
• Iraq Holds Vote Bush Rallies Nationwide Day Prior to U. S. Elections
• Kerry Claims To Be Sole Survivor of 9/11 Flight 93; Parachuted for Help Before Crash
• Kerry Claims He Aided Firefighters in WTC on 9/11; Paraglided for Help Before Collapse
• Kerry Claims He Was Refused Entry to Pentagon on 9/11; Reason Plane Struck Building
• Howard Dean: Kerry’s Nutso!
• I Am John Kerry’s Lovechild - Vietnamese 7-11 Owner in Dubuque.