Headlines From the Second Term
Headlines that could appear in Bush’s second term:
- Middle Aged Bloggers Found to Be Overwhelming Choice of College Coeds to Lose Virginity to; Survey Finds 90+ Percent
- Bush Appoints Lavrenty Beria Head of CIA
- Arafat Killed by Giant Lizard Named Charles
- Gore / Kerry End “We Wuz Robbed” Tour, Cite Poor Ticket Sales
- Glenn Reynolds Recess Appointment to Ninth Circuit
- Aliens Land; Howard Dean Revealed to Be Immature Offspring on Field Trip
- Michael Moore Explodes; Fat Bomb Kills Nine
- Bill vs. Hillary; Senate Primary Battle Heats Up in NY
- Nicole Richie’s Nose Falls Off; Blames Simple Life Not Coke
- Paris Hilton and Prince Both Change Name to Esther; Madonna Freaks
- Michael Jackson Sells Self to San Diego Zoo; To Live in Monkey Exhibit to Pay Legal Costs
- Rachel Corrie Is Still Dead
- Pope John Paul II Makes First Visit of Any Pope to Moon; Sermon in Lunar Dialect
- Rush Limbaugh Caught in Secret Love Nest with Maureen Dowd and Molly Ivins; Women Struck Dumb by His Presence
- Ted Kennedy Dies in Reak Accident; Falls Off Bridge and Is Too Fat to Float
- America Agrees to Allow Gay Marriage; Trade Off Is No More Gay Pride Parades
- French Go On Vacation and Forget to Come Back; Luxemburgers Occupy Empty Country
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