America's North Shore Journal

Based upon recent experience, there are a number of women out there who do not understand very important things about dating a man. I hope that I can open up this world of mystery for my female friends.

There are two rules that a woman must never forget when dating a man.

1. He wants to have sex with you.
2. If in doubt, refer to rule 1.

Yes, my friends of the female sex, it IS mostly about sex. It’s not complicated. It’s not deep and emotional. It’s sex.

Most men change over the years as they age. They learn the complex rituals demanded of them by women in order to obtain sex. They learn to be polite, pay for things like meals and movies, and shower more frequently.

These are some of the experience-based behavioral changes men learn in order to eventually have sex with women.

That said, YOU cannot change a man. He may learn based upon experience but he will never change his innate nature. He will always be selfish, lazy, drunken, abusive if that is the way he is when you meet him. Charles Manson will always be Charles Manson.

Between the ages of 18 and 25, men are immature. They want sex and beer, and more sex. Expecting maturity from a man at this age is willing yourself to fail. But, let’s face it. At this age, gals, you’re not exactly using all your brain cells either. You will do things for a man that will horrify you and make you ashamed for the rest of your life.

So, have fun and don’t do anything too stupid at this age. Don’t get yourself killed in a car of drunken idiots. Don’t pose for pictures that your father would blush at. And don’t sleep with Hugh Hefner.

Men begin to mature between 25 and 35. Your chances of finding a life mate, someone to marry, are increasing. By now, though, if he has bad habits, they are thoroughly ingrained. If he’s messy, cuts his toenails in front of you or thinks farts are funny, well, that’s gonna be him for the rest of his life. Live with it or move on.

Between 35 and 45, men are ripe for the picking. Most have been married once or had a long term relationship and they know the score. They have learned that no matter what they do, you decide if they can have sex. They’ve given up on all their fantasies and are ready to settle down, work hard, provide for a family and die younger than their wife.

Women at this age, on the other hand, are cougars. You are at your sexual peak. You know what you want and what you do not. Many of you have divorced one man and now have a list of desirable qualities in a man you could not have imagined at 18. If you are on the hunt, you will not lack for victims. Men find it difficult to say no to an invitation for sex.

A few words of warning for women about men between 25 and 45. If he has always lived at home, leave him there. If he has spent more time in prison than out since he turned 16, he’s not for you. If you discover that he collects the same thimbles that you do or he has more pairs of shoes than you do, walk away.

Watch how he acts with his own children to see into his soul. He may act with yours, but his ability to play with or how he disciplines his children will tell you volumes.

Men over 45 can be very set in their ways. You’re going through menopause, so he knows that sex is unlikely. So, you get to sit with him while he watches the game, or cook for him as long as it’s what he wants to eat. He’s reached a point in his maturation where you either take him as he is or leave him.

Women begin the dating game with an advantage, the ability to control when sex happens. Young women do not realize that which is why most men look back on their youth with great fondness. As men grow older, wiser and more mature, they become easier to live with, easier to love. Then, as they travel through middle age into old age, they become set in their ways, stodgy and habitual.

You can date a man at any age. The two rules of dating a man always apply. He will never be a mirror of you and you will never change him. He will learn and mature, and you may find a prize there. Don’t stop looking, but always look before stopping.