My brother sends a link to this story:

Tearful multi-millionaire Paris fluttered her eyes and told the News of the World: “Every other guy I’ve been out with has used me for money or sex – but in most cases they just want fame. It made it hard to trust people.”

Fox

I’ll see you at the debate, bitches!

Sometimes life is good. Paris is going to jail.

No Blackberry’s. No cell phones. No BJ’s on film… well, depends on her guards, I suppose.

AP through SFGate reports her future situation:

The hotel heiress was sentenced Friday to 45 days at the Century Regional Detention Center, Los Angeles County’s jailhouse for women just south of downtown in Lynwood.

Inmates get three low-sodium meals a day, with dinner the only hot meal. Beef and pork aren’t permitted — “it’s all poultry-based,” said Capt. Alice Scott, who oversees the 2,200-inmate facility she describes as “a very nice place.”

Like other high-profile Los Angeles County inmates — O.J. Simpson, Robert Blake, Robert Mitchum, Sirhan Sirhan and Charles Manson — Hilton will be segregated from the general population for her own safety, living in a one- or two-person cell.

Her cell will be Spartan: 12-by-8 feet with a toilet, sink and a window 6 inches wide. She’ll comb her blonde locks in a mirror made of polished metal.

Breakfast is served between 6 a.m. and 7:30 a.m., hours when Hilton sometimes gets in after a night of partying.

Inmates in segregation are allowed outside their cells for at least an hour each day to shower, watch television in the day room, participate in outdoor recreation or talk on the telephone, Scott said. There are a bank of phones that use prepaid phone cards — cellular telephones and Blackberries aren’t allowed.

UPI reports she cried.

Life is good.

Everyone does “end of year” lists. Top Stories of 2005 and such.

Well, I happen to think there are some news stories that were overlooked or not delved into enough by the media. Here’s my TOP TEN NEWS STORIES THAT WERE UNDERPLAYED

1. Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton’s friendship ends

Come on! these two kissed Arkansas farm boys together.[snort] What could have possibly gone wrong in their relationship? [sniff]

2. Wimpy Ape

I feel bad for the monkey. I really do.

3. OJ Aquitted, I mean Robert Blake Aquitted

Yeah, like you didn’t think he was guilty, too.

4. This One and That One Broke Up

Just pick a couple, any couple. Jessica, Britney, Elton, and the first married lesbians.

5. Jessica Alba as a blonde

Well worth reams of news print.

6. Paris Hilton Works in a Sandwich Shop

Sell the sizzle. Hardee’s did, and we could have used a lot more advertising like this.

7. Canada Accepts Emigrants

Their new slogan is: Canada-where life is not so miserable

8. Katie and Tom

I think I actually saw a news clip of his brains dribbling out of his ears. Why couldn’t Katie have been the one jumping on the couch?

9. Sean Penn’s Rescue Rangers

Who can forget Sean Penn’s dramatic attempt to save New Orleans by bailing it out, one cup at a time?

And the number one overlooked, underpublicized story of 2005 is

10. Serbs line up for testicle shocks

This story had it all. Sex, pain, science, pain, oh, and more pain.

OK, I take back everything bad I ever said about Paris Hilton. The corporation behind the Carl Jrs. and Hardees restaurants has her in a video at Spicy Paris. She’s washing a car in a tiny black bathing suit. With lots of suds. Lots of suds. Oh, yeah, she takes a bite of a sandwich, too. Did I mention there were lots of suds?