America's North Shore Journal

Ripped off the pages of no known newspaper, here are some stories that are not true, but could be. French Vote to Join UAW In a surprise move, a massive write-in vote by the French has made the nation a local of the United Auto Workers. Asked in a referendum to approve or reject the European Union Constitution, the French instead chose to join an American labor union. The Teamsters have filed an objection with the EU court in Brussels, claiming employer interference with the vote. Carter to Supervise Al Qaeda Election With the race to replace Iraqi al Qaeda leader Abu Musab Zarqawi growing close, former U.S. President Jimmy Carter has announced plans to oversee the election of the new leader. “Ah feel an obligation to ensure that the new leader of al … Read entire article »

With the Democratic Convention dominating the news, you could easily forget that the world does not revolve around Boston. So, here are some headlines that you might see elsewhere: Fiancee’s Ex Tells Britney: Get Tested! Paris Hilton Swears Off Boy Bands: Says Aging Bloggers Better Lovers Paris Telephone System Shuts Down: Everyone On Vacation but Old Folks Russian Police Arrest Tax Evaders: Entire Country Jailed Italian Government Falls: 1,245th Gov’t Since WWII Francisco Franco Is Still Dead Fidel Castro Denies Being Sex Tourist: Says He Works At It Ted Williams’ Head Found in Freezer in Saudi Arabia Ferry Capsizes in Bangladesh: Far Too Many People On Board Cannot Swim Brazil Nuts! Nauru Runs Out of Bird Poop: Aussies Move In Ted Kennedy Autographed Empty Scotch Bottle Sold on E-Bay: Flotation Device Also … Read entire article »

Headlines that could appear in Bush’s second term: Middle Aged Bloggers Found to Be Overwhelming Choice of College Coeds to Lose Virginity to; Survey Finds 90+ Percent Bush Appoints Lavrenty Beria Head of CIA Arafat Killed by Giant Lizard Named Charles Gore / Kerry End “We Wuz Robbed” Tour, Cite Poor Ticket Sales Glenn Reynolds Recess Appointment to Ninth Circuit Aliens Land; Howard Dean Revealed to Be Immature Offspring on Field Trip Michael Moore Explodes; Fat Bomb Kills Nine Bill vs. Hillary; Senate Primary Battle Heats Up in NY Nicole Richie’s Nose Falls Off; Blames Simple Life Not Coke Paris Hilton and Prince Both Change Name to Esther; Madonna Freaks Michael Jackson Sells Self to San Diego Zoo; To Live in Monkey Exhibit to Pay Legal Costs Rachel Corrie Is Still Dead Pope John Paul II Makes First Visit of Any Pope to … Read entire article »