America's North Shore Journal

The course will con­sist of two legs. The first will be from daddy's bed­room door to the photo cab­i­net in mommy's room. The sec­ond leg of the race will be the reverse of the first.

Cats par­tic­i­pat­ing in races will reverse start­ing field order for the sec­ond leg of the race.

While over­tak­ing is encour­aged, pass­ing is not allowed. Cats may join the race in progress but must enter at the rear of the field.

Run­ning into mommy or daddy is not allowed. Run­ning into other cats is also dis­ap­proved. Spec­ta­tor cats are warned to stay well clear of the race course. Fur­ni­ture may be used as part of the course but only if all cats rac­ing are thin enough to make the jumps required.

Pit stops for per­sonal hygiene and groom­ing are allowed. Other cats par­tic­i­pat­ing in the race will remain in posi­tion, idling their engines, until the butt lick­ing has con­cluded. Race par­tic­i­pants are allowed one (1) sniff of the stopped cat to ensure over­all hygiene.

In the event of a crash, race par­tic­i­pants will scat­ter until res­cue crews deter­mine the sit­u­a­tion. The race may be can­celed at this point or rescheduled.

Cat races are under the aegis of NACR, the National Asso­ci­a­tion of Cat Rac­ing. Rules are sub­ject to change with­out notice. All deci­sions by mommy and daddy are final. Appeals by purring and rub­bing will be considered.