Now, before you youngins start mocking me, remember that I grew up in rural New York before cable TV. The CBS station in Buffalo was the easiest and clearest we could pull in with our down-in-the-valley rooftop antenna.

1. The Ed Sullivan Show

   OK, I remember three things about Ed’s show. He would recognize people in the audience, presumably famous people, but as a kid who knew? Topo Gigo, the mouse puppet, that has a crush on Ed. Mom and Dad would make sure we saw the mouse puppet. “I loooooove jew, Meester Soooleeevon!” And, well, four things, the guy with the spinning plates on the poles. Dad and I would be entranced trying to figure which one would fall. Finally, the ventriloquist with the voice in the box, Senor Wences. “S’all right?” “S’all right!”

2. Death Valley Days

   Only because of the mule team crossing the desert. Sponsored by “Twenty Mule Team Borax”, whatever the heck that was.

3. Cleveland Browns football

   Before the Buffalo Bills, there was the Cleveland Browns. Dad watched when he could.

4. Major League Baseball

   I remember Dad telling me to watch this guy catch a fly, with one hand. Probably Willie Mays. Also used to have classes canceled so we could watch the World Series games in the school gym in the afternoon. Baseball in the afternoon… on grass.

5. Branded

   “What do you do when you’re branded, and you know you’re a man?” This guy is stripped of all military insignia and turned out the front gate of the fort in his tattered uniform remnants.

6. The Merv Griffin Show

   and his sidekick Arthur Treacher. And some old lady who evidently went to all the talk shows and sat in the front row.

7. The Mike Douglas Show

   Another singer, fave of the parents. More current guests than Merv.

8. The Edge of Night

   Mom’s soap, though she later became a hard-core ABC soap fan.

9. Lunar Landing

   Yes, I watched. “One small step” and all that.

10. The Beverly Hillbillies

    The first few years, anyway. The later shows are really dumb.